Scheduling a defense

2:22 AM

Author | Andrea Knittel

I remember when I scheduled my board exam.  I wrote a blog post, very much like this one, documenting what seemed like a massive, but nonetheless intermediate milestone.  Today, I check off another gigantic but relatively administrative milestone from the list: I e-mailed my doctoral committee members to schedule a dissertation defense.  It still seems pretty far away (early-mid March), but it's close enough that there are conflicts with various dates and I'm still waiting to hear from a few committee members about their availability. Being a rather calendar/list oriented person, being able to print on two pages the calendar between now and my defense seems like a big deal.  In some ways, being able to chart out the endgame of my doctoral program has been one of the most satisfying moments in my academic career.  It feels in some ways like I'm emerging from the trees to gaze happily at the forest, which ends in March.

When I posted about scheduling my board exam in December 2006 (yes, it really was 4 years ago) I talked about my fear of failing.  At that point, it was failing in a standardized way, failing in a way that every other medical student would have the opportunity to do for years to come.  At this point, my fear of failing feels far more nuanced and individualized.  I know that I will finish what I need to do in time for my defense.  There may be some rather busy moments/days/weeks coming up, but it will get done.  Instead, my fear of failing is two-fold:

1. Some of the first advice that I got as a doctoral student was to plan on being a little disappointed with the amount of work you can do in a dissertation.  "It's not your magnum opus, it's a starting point," was what I heard repeated by a variety of mentors.  Having internalized that fairly well, I nonetheless worry that what I've accomplished won't launch my fledgling academic career in the direction or with the force I'm hoping for.

2. Though many fewer of my mentors have emphasized this, I'm looking to try to keep my life in balance for the next few months.  I want to keep having at least a minimal social life, see family, play in the orchestra, read, knit, and keep my kitchen stocked enough to eat well.  I worry that the stress of the dissertation will cut into this!

As I write these two points, however, it occurs to me that these are neither nuanced nor individual, as I suggested above.  They are in fact the same fears that we all have about the process and product of any major undertaking.  I'll take heart in that, then, and keep pushing forward.  See you all on the other side!

Media Contact Public Relations

Department of Communication at Michigan Medicine

[email protected]

734-764-2220

Stay Informed

Want top health & research news weekly? Sign up for Health Lab’s newsletters today!

Subscribe
Featured News & Stories women lined up on ground stretching outside on grass with sun setting
Health Lab
Using culture to encourage exercise can help close a cancer survival gap – and improve quality of life 
Angela Fong, Ph.D., an assistant professor of applied exercise science at the University of Michigan School of Kinesiology and a member of the University of Michigan Health Rogel Cancer Center, says a variety of factors can contribute to a lower five-year survival rate of cancer among members of racialized and historically marginalized groups.
Female doctor teaches local Rwandan doctors with an infant practice model.
Department News
Robin Petroze’s vision to move global surgery forward: Build on momentum
Robin Petroze, MD, discusses current global surgery work in the department as well as opportunities for growth.
Minding Memory with a microphone and a shadow of a microphone on a blue background
Minding Memory
Exposure to a Natural Disaster and Long-term Cognition
In this episode, Matt and Lauren speak with Drs. Elizabeth Frankenberg at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Duncan Thomas at Duke University about their research which focuses on understanding how survival and physical health evolve after exposure to large scale shocks like the 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami. They will specifically speak about the STAR Study and what they’re learning about long-term effects on cognitive outcomes.
2025 blocks with stethoscope
Health Lab
Top 10 things to know about your health costs right now
From Medicare prescription costs and medical debt rules to actions that the Supreme Court, Congress and President Trump could take, a guide to health policies that affect many people.
mom and son and dog in front of the survival flight helicopter
Health Lab
Service dog supports teen through recovery after serious dirt bike accident
Evan Sanders had a dirtbike accident which left him with fractures across the left side of his body. During his hospital stay, service dog Barney helped Evan with his rehabilitation goals, including a visit to the Survival Flight helicopter.
Puzzle pieces
Department News
Evaluating Comprehensive Models - Challenges and Innovations in Dementia Care
Dr. Julie Bynum discusses comprehensive models for dementia care and the D-CARE and IN-PEACE clinical trials with JAMA Deputy Editor Christopher C. Muth, MD in a JAMA Author Interviews podcast.