reflections on M3

1:32 AM

Author | Shaza Al-Holou

Oh my goodness, it has been a long time. Last time I spoke with you, I was an innocent deer eating a candy wrapper on Fuller Road in Ann Arbor. I was on internal medicine, not realizing the youth and innocence I was being stripped of, then I finished it and did a month of Neurology, and now I'm in my last week of Family Med.

Since we spoke, I've developed some positivity, some cynicism, a thicker shell, both anger and indifference to grades, and a lot of clinical skills. There is no doubt that M3 year affects you the most in all facets of your life. I'm just hoping to come out of it a skilled medical student with the tools to be a great physician with compassion for her patients.

There have been some really great, sad, funny, awkward, crappy times. These have come from all types of situations: with fellow med students, with patients, with attendings. I'm happy to be almost at winter break still feeling things, whether it be happiness, anger, or grief. I guess I was worried that eventually I wouldn't feel for patients, but I've found that I cry over things still, like a woman grieving over her son, or an old man with a debilitating brain tumor. I'm happy to know I still do this.

I'm also starting to realize the pressure of my opinions of my rotations. Not only must I decide what rotation I am currently enjoying, but I must also discern if I would enjoy it for the rest of my life, and make sure that coincides with my previous dreams and goals of becoming a physician before I entered medical school. Some rotations were easily crossed off, others more difficult. There is also the sad reality that I will miss the specialities that I choose to disregard. For example, while on Neurology, we had patients with psychiatric issues, and I forgot how much I enjoyed taking the life history on a patient like I did on Psych, not just the history of someone's illness. It made me sad that if I picked a different specialty, I would never get that again.

But alas, this is M3 year, and medicine in general, and life for that matter.

Enough serious talk, back to my serious paper I have to write for Family Medicine. I'll talk to yall later! I had an AWESOME weekend because my brother just got married, so I'm very excited to show some pictures in my next post! Take care everyone!

Media Contact Public Relations

Department of Communication at Michigan Medicine

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